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Thursday, July 18, 2013

Hi, Ditch.

My son just asked me if God "tooters" up in heaven. When I answered that, no, I don't guess He does, because God doesn't have a body like man so he probably doesn't have methane building up inside His non-existent intestines, Sutton then asked me if people "tooter" up in heaven. I could have told him that they don't right now, but once their physical bodies are resurrected after Christ returns to earth they might just stink up the halls of heaven. 

But I didn't. I didn't think he was ready for that theology yet. 

Kids say the darndest things, don't they? I never lack for something to laugh at when I listen to my kids talk.  

A few of my all-time favorites:

EMERSON (age 3, when talking about what she learned in Sunday School): "They said Jesus went on a boat and he was real tired and he went to sleep and it was raining real hard and the guy was scared. Then Jesus woke up and he turned into a pirate." 
EMERSON (age 3): "Mommy, you're the best. And Daddy just a little bit the most." 
EMERSON (age 3): "Mommy, I have a baby in my belly." (I then asked her how it got there) "Well, this morning I just poo-poo'd real hard and then it climbed right in." 
EMERSON (age 4, as influenced by her father): "Mommy, I feel like I am going to THROW UP! Sutton is SO stinky! He dropped a huge deucer!" (thank you, Brandon) 
SUTTON (age 4, randomly as we were in the car driving down the road): "Mommy, if a train conductor is driving the train, he can't touch anyone's penises." (can you tell we have been talking about keeping private parts private?) 
SUTTON (age 3, when asked how a person has a relationship with Jesus): "You just throw Him a big stick and see if He catches it."

Sutton's latest phrase is something that catches a lot of attention and raises quite a few eyebrows. He recently heard me asking him to say "hi" to the video camera on my phone, so he turned around and yelled, "HI, DITCH!"

Yeah, I'm thinking the same thing. WHAT?!

I asked him what he meant, afraid he had overheard someone calling another person, how-you-say, a female dog. He told me he made it up.

I laughed so hard. I just couldn't help it.

That wasn't good, because now his favorite greeting is, "HI, DITCH!"

We're working on that.

It's so hard with our kids, isn't it, to teach them how to communicate, how to speak to others, how to function in this crazy world with a measure of patient and gentle speech that oftentimes is not and will not be reciprocated? It's even harder to not just tell them the right way to speak and respond to others, but to MODEL it.

I am not a yeller. Sometimes I raise my voice, often just to be heard over the noise and chaos that is my three children. However, in the last week or two, I have been, to put it VERY mildly, frustrated with their behavior. Summer-itis has kicked in, and the togetherness and sibling interactions have resulted in countless tussles and arguments. My patience is thin. I am tired of the yelling, the fussing, the screaming, the bossiness. You name it, we've had it, and I am D-U-N DONE!

Instead of taming my tongue, instead of guarding my words, I find myself yelling and lashing out at my little ones. Emerson has said to me more than one time, "Mommy, why are you talking to me with such unkindness?"

Yeouch.

I could say a lot, but I think God's Word says it best when it comes to how we need to teach our children by example. Here are a few of my favorites:

"Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person." Colossians 4:6
"Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin." Proverbs 13:3
"A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouths of fools pour out folly." Proverbs 15:1-2
"A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit." Proverbs 15:4
"Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits." Proverbs 18:21
"Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!" Psalm 141:3

Will you join me in praying that, as we invite the Lord to give us wisdom and self-control when it comes to the things we say and how we say them, our children will learn from us and from the Holy Spirit to speak life and love into the lives of every person they encounter? 

At my house, one way we speak life into each other is to make sure we laugh. Often. We also talk a lot about poop. I don't know why, we just do. We can't make it through a meal without the word "poop" being thrown out at least once or twice. It could be worse, though...we could be saying "deucer."

Feel free to laugh!